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Life's Length

Dying ain't short - from that one cry
as air first fills the tiny lung
to the last glimpse of earthly hells
from where so meagre joys are wrung -
an arduous and bitter ride,
and homeward the fancy takes flight,
but in justice we find delight
and we sing as we go to fight,
for pride is stronger than all pain
even if we toil in vain.

Birthright

"Unloved must you wander,"
said the gods to the bard,
"a secret honor's bearer,
ne'er to touch what you guard."
And still he guards it proudly,
though tears flavor his nights,
though his soul's sea is stormy,
on new shores he alights:
to bear the word he is bound,
with it to live and die,
until victory is found,
never to rest - but fly.
my head is bloody, but unbowed
The title is a quote from this: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Invictus - Timothy McVeigh's (and Finnish scool shooter Pekka-Eric Auvinen's) favorite poem. Due to some recent happenings (mostly of a financial nature), i can really relate to it right now. And as always, to them. (Even though i got to know the latter through a person i'll forever regret meeting.)
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0:Height
165 (5'5")

1:Virgin?
That depends on your concept of virginity. I had sexual pleasures with various persons, but still have my parts intact. The whole idea of virginity makes no biological sense, btw. First of all, how do you check it in the case of a man? There is nothing to break. And even in women, it can be broken via an accident or something. Does it even matter though?

2:Shoe size
40 (EU size)

3:Do you smoke?
Nope.

4:Do you drink?
Yes. Infrequently, but with evident enjoyment.

5:Do you take drugs?
No - but willing to try. I just don't have the right social connections. (Well, might try if i get to England...)

6:Age you get mistaken for
Usually like ten years older than i actually am.

7:Have tattoos?
Yep, two small ones.

8:Want any tattoos?
I wouldn't mind, but i have more important things to spend my money on. I like designing them though.

9:Got any piercings?
Just one. Lost the one i had in my lip, haha.

10:Want any piercings?
Well, i'm rather curious about getting my nipples pierced... Not sure if i'll dare to do it myself. Would be cool though.

11:Best friend?
:iconskaramine: :P

12:Relationship status
Mentally dating a dead girl...

13:Biggest turn ons
Intelligence and deadliness :)

14:Biggest turn offs
Fake boobs, excessive makeup, fake personality...well, you get the idea. Oh, and dicks.

15:Favorite movie
Can't pick just one, lol.

16:I’ll love you if
...you manage to understand me.

17:Someone you miss
Allie, my dead friend...

18:Most traumatic experience
Hm, i have a few. Maybe the breakup. Or the blowjob-for-accommodation thing. Traumas are a part of growing up, though.

19:A fact about your personality
Well, at least i have one... :D

20:What I hate most about myself
Incompetence. Not being able to do all the things i want to.

21:What I love most about myself
My creativity.

22:What I want to be when I get older
Dead. :P

23:My relationship with my sibling(s)
Not applicable.

24:My relationship with my parent(s)
Hahaha. Well, dad is my drinking buddy, mom is my arch-nemesis.

25:My idea of a perfect date
Picnic in the middle of nowhere, lots of interesting conversation and gentle loving, then an exchange of bullets :)

26:My biggest pet peeves
Noise, liars, mornings, waiting.

27:A description of the girl/boy I like
Hm, well... that thick blonde at the meat counter...she's cute but i don't think she likes me. We didn't talk much yet.

28:A description of the person I dislike the most
Stingy, old, clumsy, bossy, sitting behind me right now.

29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend
I didn't. Sometimes i think i should, but...nah. Friends aren't supposed to lie to each other.

30:What I hate the most about work/school
Getting up in the morning, interacting with people.

31:What your last text message says
Some shit about my phone account being depleted again.

32:What words upset me the most
Positive, weight loss, happiness, mental, coward.

33:What words make me feel the best about myself
That takes way more than mere words...

34:What I find attractive in women
Curves, big clear (usually blue or green) eyes, intelligence, gun skills, deadliness, a melancholy disposition.

35:What I find attractive in men
Well, if i find men attractive, i think i'd like the warrior type. Strong, serious, with angular features, scars, and a sharp mind.

36:Where I would like to live
Some sort of wilderness. Or a small, mellow Dixie town.

37:One of my insecurities
I get seriously awkward when someone corrects me on historical knowledge ^^;

38:My childhood career choice
Soldier or superhero...lol.

39:My favorite ice cream flavor
Mint chocolate chip :)

40:Who wish I could be
Hm. A capable human being, perhaps.

41:Where I want to be right now
In bed with a woman. Or six feet under. Either works, lol.

42:The last thing I ate
A banana.

43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately
Abby Sciuto :meow:

44:A random fact about anything
During embryonic development, the first thing that forms is your asshole.
  • Mood: Lazy
  • Reading: a textbook on Germanic languages
  • Drinking: tonight :)
Once in a while, even people you've known for long enough to let your guard down about them will do those little things that show what they really think about you. I used to get mad at these things and ended up alone, but now i just ignore them, or back off when actual conflict is looming. Yes, you might think i'm just a rat, not worth a bother, but i'm sticking to you - maybe to show that you are wrong, maybe because i'm weak enough to need friends. Probably both.

I wonder how long this will last. When will your tolerance give out. Everyone's tolerance gives out eventually, and then it's time to impress someone new, spread the word further, wear them out and let them throw me away again. Perfection is just an illusion, and now the facade is cracking.
  • Mood: Rejected
  • Reading: messages on FB
  • Eating: a donut
  • Drinking: energy drink thing
If you are against suicide, block me now.
Go away. I don't need your bullshit.
  • Mood: Not Impressed
  • Listening to: Panzer AG
  • Reading: Germanic Languages (treatise thing)
  • Drinking: vodka (just 200)
The Consequences of Intercourse

Can you turn a mistake into art?
The mistake that created this heart,
this liver, this brain, the whole through cell division
was trivial, just a thoughtless action;
can you correct it by deliberation?
Should you care solely for your own liberation,
when you swim in an ocean of mistakes
just like you, so vast that it breaks
Atlas' spine, weighing down the world?
As tears fall and all the lines get blurred,
the lust for lead grows - there sprouts a dream.
Like birth, redemption begins with a scream.

Wanderer

I keep clawing at floating monuments
as they slip between my fingers into space -
the void yawns and eats my cloud-castles
that I built as a refuge from my face.
Weightless words dance around my head,
and reptiles' scales scrape the riverbed:
languid tails undulate below,
as they feed on the corpse of tomorrow.
Monoliths gleam on the trembling horizon:
fata morgana, the mirror in the air
lures me to wander, ever to press on,
into the Unknown's terrifying lair.

The Man and the Buck

He knew wolves: the teeth that tear,
the barking voices and the paws that run.
He knew bears: the beast of raging claws,
leaving a wide path wherever he has gone.
He knew hunger: the glatt-frozen ground,
where no leaves grow and no berries shine.
Wise as he was, his age shown on his crown:
he didn't know me, and this tool of mine.

Rage

Cold as the rocks on top of the peaks
is what we would be, if not for rage that warms
our veins again, like a mountain stream,
trickling through weary minds and weary bones.
Faded into the endless rest of old
is what we would be, long before our time,
if not for anger, that in night-hours called
us to awake and covered our cheeks in brine.
As Luna swells like a woman with child,
we feel the fiery caress of the Wyld.
0:Height
165 (5'5")

1:Virgin?
That depends on your concept of virginity. I had sexual pleasures with various persons, but still have my parts intact. The whole idea of virginity makes no biological sense, btw. First of all, how do you check it in the case of a man? There is nothing to break. And even in women, it can be broken via an accident or something. Does it even matter though?

2:Shoe size
40 (EU size)

3:Do you smoke?
Nope.

4:Do you drink?
Yes. Infrequently, but with evident enjoyment.

5:Do you take drugs?
No - but willing to try. I just don't have the right social connections. (Well, might try if i get to England...)

6:Age you get mistaken for
Usually like ten years older than i actually am.

7:Have tattoos?
Yep, two small ones.

8:Want any tattoos?
I wouldn't mind, but i have more important things to spend my money on. I like designing them though.

9:Got any piercings?
Just one. Lost the one i had in my lip, haha.

10:Want any piercings?
Well, i'm rather curious about getting my nipples pierced... Not sure if i'll dare to do it myself. Would be cool though.

11:Best friend?
:iconskaramine: :P

12:Relationship status
Mentally dating a dead girl...

13:Biggest turn ons
Intelligence and deadliness :)

14:Biggest turn offs
Fake boobs, excessive makeup, fake personality...well, you get the idea. Oh, and dicks.

15:Favorite movie
Can't pick just one, lol.

16:I’ll love you if
...you manage to understand me.

17:Someone you miss
Allie, my dead friend...

18:Most traumatic experience
Hm, i have a few. Maybe the breakup. Or the blowjob-for-accommodation thing. Traumas are a part of growing up, though.

19:A fact about your personality
Well, at least i have one... :D

20:What I hate most about myself
Incompetence. Not being able to do all the things i want to.

21:What I love most about myself
My creativity.

22:What I want to be when I get older
Dead. :P

23:My relationship with my sibling(s)
Not applicable.

24:My relationship with my parent(s)
Hahaha. Well, dad is my drinking buddy, mom is my arch-nemesis.

25:My idea of a perfect date
Picnic in the middle of nowhere, lots of interesting conversation and gentle loving, then an exchange of bullets :)

26:My biggest pet peeves
Noise, liars, mornings, waiting.

27:A description of the girl/boy I like
Hm, well... that thick blonde at the meat counter...she's cute but i don't think she likes me. We didn't talk much yet.

28:A description of the person I dislike the most
Stingy, old, clumsy, bossy, sitting behind me right now.

29:A reason I’ve lied to a friend
I didn't. Sometimes i think i should, but...nah. Friends aren't supposed to lie to each other.

30:What I hate the most about work/school
Getting up in the morning, interacting with people.

31:What your last text message says
Some shit about my phone account being depleted again.

32:What words upset me the most
Positive, weight loss, happiness, mental, coward.

33:What words make me feel the best about myself
That takes way more than mere words...

34:What I find attractive in women
Curves, big clear (usually blue or green) eyes, intelligence, gun skills, deadliness, a melancholy disposition.

35:What I find attractive in men
Well, if i find men attractive, i think i'd like the warrior type. Strong, serious, with angular features, scars, and a sharp mind.

36:Where I would like to live
Some sort of wilderness. Or a small, mellow Dixie town.

37:One of my insecurities
I get seriously awkward when someone corrects me on historical knowledge ^^;

38:My childhood career choice
Soldier or superhero...lol.

39:My favorite ice cream flavor
Mint chocolate chip :)

40:Who wish I could be
Hm. A capable human being, perhaps.

41:Where I want to be right now
In bed with a woman. Or six feet under. Either works, lol.

42:The last thing I ate
A banana.

43:Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately
Abby Sciuto :meow:

44:A random fact about anything
During embryonic development, the first thing that forms is your asshole.
  • Mood: Lazy
  • Reading: a textbook on Germanic languages
  • Drinking: tonight :)

deviantID

librarian-of-hell
Rodiel
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Hungary
Not exactly a hobbyist, but therapeutic writing wasn't an option. Self-doubting white girl with a tendency to obsess over stuff, which I take out on... formerly paper, nowadays my DA page.
As long as you don't attempt to "cheer me up" or get all religious on me, we'll get along well. Tell me what's your poison and I... won't exactly tell who you are, but pour you a round and tell a good story, 'kay?

Current Residence: Győrzámoly
deviantWEAR sizing preference: L
Favourite music: see last.fm/user/rodiel :P
Favourite style of art: pretty much anything BUT anime
Operating System: Ubuntu
Skin of choice: white, nicely scarred
Favourite cartoon character: Hawkgirl, Martian Manhunter, Wolverine, Simon's Cat
Personal Quote: "Meow."
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:iconazureflameistrei:
AzureflameistRei Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014   Artist
Why are you a supporter of the Confederates? Just curious
Reply
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I guess I have a thing for the underdog, for the vilified of history, whose only real "crime" is having lost. (From Boudica to WW2, lol.)
And for what it's worth, they fought better. They had been "compelled to yield to overwhelming numbers and resources", not to superior leadership and/or resolve. And what a cast of characters! Don't tell me Stonewall isn't just plain badass, lol :)

There are also a lot of cultural things I like about Southerners, even to the present day. They take the right to bear arms far more seriously, for example, and in this world where commitment is close to nothing, they still have some vestiges of it left. (I'm not religious but somewhat conservative, so...yeah.) And they (at least the "rednecks") seem to enjoy a good drink just as I do :) Plus, well, they have one hell of a sexy accent. :meow:
Reply
:iconskaramine:
Skaramine Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
As always, thank you for the favorite and the kind words. :D
Reply
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i don´t do ˝kind˝. If something´s awesome, it´s awesome ;)
Reply
:iconskaramine:
Skaramine Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:glomp:
Reply
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconkittenplz:
Reply
:icondingbatt20:
Dingbatt20 Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave!
Reply
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the good work :)
Reply
:iconskaramine:
Skaramine Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Grazi my chaotic good friend!
Reply
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
you might like this: themiscollection.com/execution…

fake but enjoyable with a little suspension of disbelief, plus it had nice female bodies.
Reply
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