Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Hobbyist Lilla Bertalan27/Other/Hungary Recent Activity
Deviant for 13 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 2,091 Deviations 14,057 Comments 83,826 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Invictus by librarian-of-hell Invictus :iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0
the great divide
carousel of hostile faces
in a dizzy, blurry ride -
inquisitive human gazes:
where does your affliction hide?
wading in a pool of hatred
the water nourishes a smile -
let's dive now for the treasure,
and dance in the raining bile.
some of us are now editing
coiled libraries of the dead,
while the rest still idly wander
by old tales and lies misled.
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0
Quentin's First Time
My first kill? There was nothing sexy about it. I mean, the thrill was there, but it was more about protecting a weaker being. I was 15. My buddy, a year younger, did not fit into his father's idea of how a man should be. Because apparently, men should not cry when their cat dies - or even keep cats for that matter, for dogs are manlier; men should not listen to Vivaldi; men should not paint incredibly gorgeous pictures of birds; and men should not have crushes on other men. At least that's what that poor excuse for a dad thought. Until one day, we stopped his reign of terror.
Two boys were hanging out in the park after school. They seemed an unlikely pair - a handsome mixed wrestler type, and a small, mousy-looking white one. The latter carefully produced a sketchbook from his backpack to show the other his latest works of art.
"Why don't you sit down?", the brown one interrupted. "You must be uncomfortable."
The pale one blushed and seemed to shrink. Trouble was in his eyes.
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0
Mature content
Crystalnight :iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0
Down Under
No matter which hell vomited us out, or which gods issued our condemnation,
on this miserable pile of sand, we stand united as a brand new nation.
You tear into my flesh, I claw your wretched face - them over there watch and join in.
Watch out for spiders! Only the best survives in this desiccated garbage bin.
Sinners, martyrs, crooks and liars - in the light of forest fires.
The lowest of the low, just goin' with the flow -
the ore for the future men of steel
arrives in shackles, armed only with his will.
A Woman's Fate
They say you can't buy love -
you can buy pussy, though.
And in a world where love is a lie,
that's the furthest we'll go.
Am I worth a hundred euros -
is that enough for a life?
For a brief while, I will exist -
and then you go home to your wife.
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 1 0
Horror Naturae
There was a boy. He wanted to know why the villagers don't go into the woods. The answers they gave to him seemed always incomplete or incomprehensible. On the surface, it seemed that the people he asked were just occupied with other things, simply disinterested in going there. But when he tried to get them to go in with him, fear showed its ugly form on their faces. He was confused, because he liked wandering on those meandering paths and never encountered danger. On some nights, he found beauty he had no words to describe. But every time he returned, the more wary they were of him. Until one day, when a girl disappeared. He was accused of seducing and killing her, or giving her to the animals to kill and devour. He didn't ever speak to her, but the villagers were desperate to take revenge on something or someone they could see. They tried to lynch him and he ran away.
Under an old tree, he meditated. He calmed his heart by thinking of the roots beneath him, and the mycorrhizae caress
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0
cosmic wheels
Out of lives, out of time,
out of friends, out of line.
Soundwaves and laserscapes.
Into itself - a mind escapes.
Inside out: sea cucumber.
Half awake and half in slumber.
White dwarves - the last hope for hate.
Then they blacken - all our fate.
Circuits of fear eviscerate
the flowers blooming all too late.
Dreams lie undeciphered.
Many voices unheard.
But the froth bubbles again -
worlds pop, vanish, multiply.
Blind eyes waste their time to cry.
Micro, macro - crooked scale
weaving the descendants' tale;
spinning with angelic spheres,
demons fuel the whirling gears.
Love and hate and you and me:
parts of the machinery.
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0
lazy rhymes
Demons sleep snuggled into their mother's fur,
blissfully unaware of the world ending.
Indeed, many worlds end, great and small -
and they slumber, lulled by Death's soft purr.
When cold sweat bleeds from a reality bending,
stroke their dark softness, and forget all.
Looking for something new, I reached into the slimy deep
and only found troglodytes looking for a mate.
They ran when I showed my teeth. Hopefully, when they sleep
fear will clutch their brain and seal their fate.
Born in the Underdark, I still carry the spark -
and a dagger you'll see when it's too late.
No one prosecutes a crime against the soul,
but shards of promises can be sharper than glass.
Dare to look forward to a brighter future
where homewreckers are busted in the ass.
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 1 0
Meh by librarian-of-hell Meh :iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0
Deceased dreams flutter along the path of scattering white petals
as this washed-out spring broods uncertain beginnings.
Stomach pains announce the morning; but there is no mourning
for the devil in the wall. Again, new things.
Only death does not change, the old friend lurking
protectively in the shadows behind me,
to catch me when the flimsy safety net of loans and false friends
collapses under the weight of prejudices and flaws
collecting dust beneath the skeletons of the future.
The deceived princess held up a sign -
hoping that the usurping king will read it? -
„I want a future”, in sketchy, rushed letters.
A picture of a past me, it seemed. I used to want a future too.
Now? I could not be gladder to have the present,
with a high concentration of black cats in the house
and a sleek new machine that gives me a voice.
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0
Mature content
Threesome :iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 2
ding dong the witch is dead
putting words to virtual paper
in their beautiful vulgarity, wrapped
shyly in a language that i own
but that doesn't own me -
I wonder, is still it poetry
if it's true?
Skipped Visit
slow disintegration
smells like feces and detergent
and repulses my selfish artist's mind
with a force of a thousand magnets.
i'd have rather left my gray matter
smeared on Dutch cobblestones than watch
my worst enemy in government-clean sheets
lie catheterized.
even knowing she deserves it.
You dipped poison claws in my heart;
then you slowly fell apart.
Time itself broke your dread power,
and your own obsessive desire
to break me and remold my mind.
No more barbed chains will me bind,
I will be called shit no longer -
my happy ending is mine to find.
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0
Straight Conundrum
You've been consistently breaking my heart.
We both thought it will be good for my art.
Maybe it is. There are things we both know
to be in vain; yet the thoughts incessantly flow.
I'm a glass mosaic - a kaleidoscope -
if the colors align, it may help you cope.
I want you to tuck me gently in the ground.
You want in my pants. An impasse is found.
Fear sucks - and gorges itself on our souls.
The longer it siphons, the stronger it grows.
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0
Extraterrestrial Hatchling
Extraterrestrial Hatchling
Small things kick and then they cry.
They don't know much and they lie.
Small things shout and laugh and run.
They have strange concepts of fun.
Big things teach and tell so much.
They can read and count and such.
Now I can do all that, too!
Surely, I am one of you?
"You are too young for that, wait!"
"You are not to stay that late!"
Big things, small things. Which is me?
Something else, then, I must be.
Like Friend Bright-eyes who stalks at night,
I like quiet, shun the light.
But I have no tail or fangs or claws,
I cannot follow where he goes.
Like the great ones of the waterways,
I like to sing and turn a phrase.
I wonder what krill would taste like?
They live too far, I'm scared to hitchhike.
I looked at things both great and small.
I find most lovely, though not all.
But neither on page or through glass screen,
my species I have never seen.
I look like these pink ones but don't feel
as though I was like them for real.
I shrug and smile - well, alright th
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0
The Unknown
He is lying in the basement with his ID disk intact;
he died alone and forgotten when the house was bombed and wrecked;
half-buried under concrete, the years heavy on his bones,
you hear his cry for his homeland when something in the walls moans.
In the next corner another, his half-moon glints still bright;
the other half was taken to be carried home that night;
but it never got there, as the courier met his end
on the same street a few houses downstream from his friend.
Who will tally the nameless when the rebuild team gets here
to demolish the past and erect a brand new fear?
The new prophets of destruction will climb the pulpits again,
expensive suits, shiny smiles and a scorn for their fellow man -
will we be the new nameless of their new master plan?
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0
Poem batch
conjure images unclean
look for passages unseen
as the mind strides on the line
these powers that can create
come only through cursed fate
and knowing the lies behind "i'm fine"
and the earth will take it in -
battered bodies born in sin
and divine souls rotting on the vine
i'm not an if. i'm a when,
lurking deep within the glen,
in spiderwebs and dewdrops,
curdled milk and withered crops.
all life is pregnant with death;
i inch closer with each breath.
do you want to be my friend?
all is a means to my end.
you will remember my face like i did yours,
when i was still human, torn and screaming.
old dreams in tatters - from secret wars,
vengeance emerged as the sole thing worth dreaming.
blood from the bad place had tainted the ground -
it is a wound not worthy of care.
blood will come upon you, the motive never found.
but the badge of shame is forever mine to wear.
a nation of misbegotten children
fractures in the throes of civil war
to give birth to timeless beauty and
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:librarian-of-hell 0 0


Danger Ninja and Ryder Burton - BTS 3 by MordsithCara
Mature content
Danger Ninja and Ryder Burton - BTS 3 :iconmordsithcara:MordsithCara 185 8
Hex Hypoxia Cover Page Sketch by Skaramine
Mature content
Hex Hypoxia Cover Page Sketch :iconskaramine:Skaramine 2 8
Bacchanal Celt Faun 2 by JLazarusEB
Mature content
Bacchanal Celt Faun 2 :iconjlazaruseb:JLazarusEB 26 0
Celtic Faun by JLazarusEB Celtic Faun :iconjlazaruseb:JLazarusEB 26 1 Drow Priestess by JLazarusEB Drow Priestess :iconjlazaruseb:JLazarusEB 80 4 Biggest Fan by Lord-Of-The-Guns Biggest Fan :iconlord-of-the-guns:Lord-Of-The-Guns 109 6 Dark Elf Woman by JLazarusEB Dark Elf Woman :iconjlazaruseb:JLazarusEB 28 4 Zorba the Orc and her Goblin Sidekick by JLazarusEB Zorba the Orc and her Goblin Sidekick :iconjlazaruseb:JLazarusEB 55 3 Radiolaria and Foraminifera by EldarZakirov Radiolaria and Foraminifera :iconeldarzakirov:EldarZakirov 83 14 Radiolaria and Foraminifera by EldarZakirov Radiolaria and Foraminifera :iconeldarzakirov:EldarZakirov 94 14 Suicide 2017 2 by mesterallat Suicide 2017 2 :iconmesterallat:mesterallat 4 1 Ahellian's Emma. by Skaramine Ahellian's Emma. :iconskaramine:Skaramine 5 2 poison ivy by nebezial poison ivy :iconnebezial:nebezial 5,134 177 Jill by Shermie-Cosplay Jill :iconshermie-cosplay:Shermie-Cosplay 431 16 Untitled by atomicspider Untitled :iconatomicspider:atomicspider 2 0 Shit-faced Ilythiiri by darchala Shit-faced Ilythiiri :icondarchala:darchala 9 2



the walkyrie in iceland by andrekosslick the walkyrie in iceland :iconandrekosslick:andrekosslick 61 34 Wodan and Frigga by andrekosslick Wodan and Frigga :iconandrekosslick:andrekosslick 80 39 Siegmunds Tod finished by andrekosslick Siegmunds Tod finished :iconandrekosslick:andrekosslick 73 30 the Rhine gold by andrekosslick the Rhine gold :iconandrekosslick:andrekosslick 45 20 Walhall by andrekosslick Walhall :iconandrekosslick:andrekosslick 48 8 Sigurds fight with Fafnir by andrekosslick Sigurds fight with Fafnir :iconandrekosslick:andrekosslick 51 33
What was the last thing you created?
Well, the stuff in the new compliation book I'm putting together, I suppose. Isn't it strange, stringing a bunch of words together and making people feel things? I mean, if people are capable of feelings, and if I'm even good enough to evoke them. Language is weird. People are weird. Where was I going with this again?

Who is a better cook your mother or grandmother?
My grandmother was such a good one that she actually made my dad the best cook in the world. Works for me, as I'm more like my mother in that I can't cook shit. :P

What book do you wish would be turned into a movie?
Ugh, that's a tough one because part of me believes that turning books into movies is sacrilegious, but part of me kinda wants to see how it all turns out, for example, if someone tries to put Greg Egan's Diaspora on screen. Or Nemo Ramjet's All Tomorrows. That could be way cool!

Is there an app that you hate but use anyways?
Messenger! That thing that does texting for Facebook. It freezes a lot but I need to know if someone's looking for me.

What was the last thing that you fixed?
My door. The glass in it was smashed out in some stupid domestic accident, and I put cardboard in it.

Could you survive in the wilderness for a month?
Probably not. But I kinda wouldn't want to, either.

What are some songs you know by heart?
I know bits and pieces, not whole songs. Unless it's a short one, like River Skral (a Klingon drinking song). Also, you better ask me at 3AM when I'm trying to sleep and something starts playing on repeat in my head. :D

What piece of technology brings you the most joy?
My laptop, which is both my place of work, my umbilical cord to the rest of the world, and my playground.

If you could rename the street you lived on, what would you rename it?
Alexis Carrel Street, because he doesn't get enough credit. :)

What do your clothes say about you?
I suppose they display my love for comfort and for metal, betray my body weight, and indicate my level of cold tolerance.

What’s your “going to bed” routine?
Close computer, pee, turn off the lights, black out.

What animal best represents your personality?
Has to be a feline. But that's a bit vague because each cat has a unique personality. But I do have a lot of common cat traits.

What piece of clothing or accessory can someone wear that immediately makes you have a bad opinion of them as a person?
Honestly, can't really think of any. Maybe excessive makeup, or a Trump hat, but I don't generally base my opinion on what people wear.

What’s the fullest you’ve ever been?
Probably any event with free food. It's a Hungary thing - if there is free food, we WILL eat it, even if we're not that hungry or it's not that great.

What behaviors make you think a person is creepy?
Sexual harassment; telling me that I'm creepy and/or should "seek help"; a penchant for being around children.

Who in the movie business seems the most down to earth?
Who gives a hoot about the movie business?

What’s the funniest or most amazing cell phone cover you have seen?
Hmm, I've seen one with a skeleton on it, I'd buy that. Not that impressive, I know, but meh.

Which musical artist is greatly overrated?
How about all of them? Seriously, the radio just plays the same 25 songs all day, over and over, and NONE of them from any metal genres, let alone the more "extreme" ones. Pfft.

What company or franchise do you wish would go out of business?
Victoria's Secret. I mean have you seen their ads? Those girls look like starved 12-year-old boys. Yuck!

What’s the perfect temperature to set the thermostat at?
21C. I'd say 18, dad insists on 25, so, in the middle.

Who around you has the worst luck?
Me. :P

What’s your favorite sounding word?
There are so many of them, I'm too lazy to list, lol.

What’s the weirdest thing that has happened to you in a car?
Getting entangled in the seatbelt because I don't drive and thus had no idea how to operate the damn thing. I know, how freakish, but people over here use their legs and public transport. Cars are for the upper middle class and up, or people with kids, or people who use them for work.

If you could fit your whole life into one picture what would it look like?
A total jumbled mess of a collage made up of a myriad of tiny pictures of my memories and stuffs, arranged in the shape of a huge skull.

What’s something that can’t be found or bought on the internet?
If you include the dark web, bloody NOTHING. Except maybe love. And other nonexistent things.

What should the first colony on another planet be called?
Tsiolkovsky. Because "The Earth is the cradle of humanity, but mankind cannot stay in the cradle forever." :)

If you put out a magazine, what would you name it and what would be in it?
It would be something like the Exit International newsletter, but a bit less focused on sick/elderly folks and would also contain death culture bits like the AskAMortician channel, along with poetry and literature having to do with the subject, and a personals section where people can find someone they can die with. As for the title... hmm, CadaverZine?

If you were challenged to a duel, what weapons would you choose?
Some kind of sword, spatha perhaps. No armor, or very light.

What villain do you really feel for?
Scar. Feeling neglected and pushed around by stronger but dumber people is something I can really empathize with.

What did you think you were good at but are actually quite bad at?

What game do you wish you could act out in real life?
Any of them, really. Deus Ex, Portal, Postal, really anything that either has an interesting storyline or lets me kill a lot. :P

What are you really happy about being terrible at?
Lying. It's a very useful skill in getting ahead in society, and also for survival among humans and avoiding prejudiced violence from them, but it is also the foundation of most unethical behaviors.

What’s the most nightmarish creature you can imagine?
Well, my nightmares often feature a handsome man with a retractable blade in place of his penis, being followed around by deformed fetus-like creatures that eat his sliced-up victims. But there is a scarier nightmare that also recurs, which involves the police and its all-encompassing presence. Does that count?

If there were internet Olympics, what sports would be in it?
Trolling, meme making, looking shit up... something like those. And Candy Crush?

If the police raided your house right now, what is the most incriminating thing they would find?
One live round. Feck this country. *sigh*

What actor played their character so well that you can’t watch them in any other show or movie without seeing that character?
I always associate actors with the first character I've seen them as. Which drove me nuts when I saw Aeryn on Stargate!

What is the most fun thing someone could have in their backyard?
A gun range. And a bunch of buried bodies. :P

What first world problem do you have?
Well, I don't have it anymore, but I had carpal tunnel from typing too much. Typical, eh?

What conspiracy theory do you actually believe?
None. I'm like Worth on conspiracy theories. Incompetence explains a lot more about that shit than conspiracies.

What three activities would you rate 10/10 would do again?
Sex, shooting, eating weed brownies.

If you had to replace your hands with objects already in your house, what would you replace your hands with?
Knives. LOL

What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”
"Ah, damn, someone is either hungry again or needs a door opened...goddamnit let me sleep!"

Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?
Rottweiler. They look better, and are a lot more useful allies in a battle.

Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
In the rain when my umbrella broke about three weeks ago. It was cold, wet, messy, windy, and I had a shit ton of paperwork to do. Ugh.
  • Listening to: Christopher Hitchens
  • Reading: cooking instructions
  • Watching: porn
  • Playing: Candy Crush
  • Eating: soursweet chicken
  • Drinking: not today... but soon enough


Lilla Bertalan
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Not exactly a hobbyist, but therapeutic writing wasn't an option. Self-doubting white girl with a tendency to obsess over stuff, which I take out on... formerly paper, nowadays my DA page.
As long as you don't attempt to "cheer me up" or get all religious on me, we'll get along well. Tell me what's your poison and I... won't exactly tell who you are, but pour you a round and tell a good story, 'kay?

Current Residence: Győrzámoly
deviantWEAR sizing preference: L
Favourite music: see :P
Favourite style of art: pretty much anything BUT anime
Operating System: Ubuntu
Skin of choice: white, nicely scarred
Favourite cartoon character: Hawkgirl, Martian Manhunter, Wolverine, Simon's Cat
Personal Quote: "Meow."

Journal History


Add a Comment:
Skaramine Featured By Owner May 17, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
What's up? You're not on my contact list this morning.
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner May 17, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
I dunno, power was out for two days in the whole damn house, router and everything. I fucking hate when this happens. I'm online now but seems like I got some catching up to do.
TDF-X Featured By Owner May 1, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Thx for faving, appreciated.
ChrisM-Erotic Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2016  Professional Photographer
High-five!   Thank you for Faving Hi! 
VoltageStudios Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for favoring
Voltage Hyper Force New Style by VoltageStudios , any comments on it?
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Not really, I was just saving it for a friend who is totally into superhero artworks. Maybe he'll comment :)
VoltageStudios Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ok, that's fine.
SoloGeek Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks a lot for the fave! :boogie:
Panuyen Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav!! Hug
Monocephalized Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Appreciate the favourite.
Add a Comment: