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About Literature / Hobbyist Lilla Bertalan26/Other/Hungary Group :iconkreative-minds: Kreative-Minds
 
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All you fucking walking corpses think death's such a bad thing - well, have you ever been dead? Then how the fuck do you know?

You don't. And I don't either. And I don't claim to. All I claim to know is being afraid all your life is a load of bullshit - and I have been there.

Think about it.
  • Mood: Hostile
  • Listening to: Autopsy
  • Playing: Candy Crush Saga
  • Eating: M&Ms
I.
The valedictorian is dead; the cats are feasting
on the remains chopped up meticulously
by a female man who happens to love them furry bastards.
So much wasted potential that could have resulted in
yet another perfectly unproblematic conformist.

II.
The wretched retch up their intestinal lining and wonder quietly
why does it taste like the first kiss of a lover in high school.
Those girls are so far gone, with their clavicles jutting out
and their plethora of bracelets clattering as they floated by.
Meanwhile liver failure encroaches upon the last fortifications
of an eroding self-esteem and budget pool.

III.
Shivers in summer and a T-cell count
to keep an eye on.
Like a clock that keeps ticking down.
Pale faces and drooping flowers -
as if they were practicing going to the florist
knowing they will soon show up there again.
Within, confused white soldiers go berserk
on the microscopic citizenry they are supposed to defend.
And you tell me He is loving us all?!

IV.
At least the vultures wait until you're gone -
but businesspeople will eat you alive.
Some even from the inside, like Darwin's wasp.
The bald life taught me to see through snake-oil smokescreens
so bright with hope they may blot reality out.
The bald life taught me a lot I won't have a chance to teach you -
and hopefully these lessons you'll never learn.

V.
Paradoxes within paradoxes
within repressed desires and superhero dreams
whisper again of a long-lost childhood
when there wasn't a price tag on everything -
or at least you didn't notice them.
In fact, all numbers are blurred in the mind's eye -
up to my second decade, I couldn't even read them.
And nobody noticed.
Just like I was blind to the price tags
attached to every little crumb of joy.
sickness inspires me
I've been going through gastrointestinal infection hell today. Getting back most of my bodily functions, I took the time to reflect upon the vulnerabilities of the human body and mind.
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Sometimes I envy those stitches on your eyelids,
shutting out the horrid picture of the chains
wrapped around your ankles - and mine,
rattling as I try to find out how long they would stretch.
Sometimes I envy the bliss of ignorance
wrapped around you like a comforting blanket,
muffling out the voices of my kind that
you hold in so much self-righteous contempt.
Sometimes I wish I could change, not just rely on the stitches
sealing my lips, but cut out the urge
to speak, to scream, to grit my teeth -
the urge to shake you and attempt to heal your sight.
This gift is a curse, I'm well aware of that,
drenched in tears and tugging at the reins -
it never lets me forget the chains and walls you are so
conveniently unaware of.

And yet, despite the pain and exasperation,
a pure pride washes over me
as I hold my little notebook, stranded
on the periphery of time, stripped of renown,
because this worthless treasure is only mine,
and tears and blood and the years spent in silence
poured value in it like molten gold
into a battered trash can.
It is not the blue man I hate, though he would take my quill away,
and throw me into the pit of despair lined
by barbed wire and buried memories -
he is just a man, after all.
It is not his fault that he has grown
to love the chains that sear my skin like silver.
It is the net of chains themselves that I'd tear asunder, if I had the power.
Though some have grown dependent of them,
and would even die out in the open -
the price is too high.

It was not the binds or the bird's beak in the liver
that hurt the most - it was the work undone.
Lady Hel by librarian-of-hell
Lady Hel
In her pretty dress. Glow and half-arsed "background" digitally added.
Loading...
All you fucking walking corpses think death's such a bad thing - well, have you ever been dead? Then how the fuck do you know?

You don't. And I don't either. And I don't claim to. All I claim to know is being afraid all your life is a load of bullshit - and I have been there.

Think about it.
  • Mood: Hostile
  • Listening to: Autopsy
  • Playing: Candy Crush Saga
  • Eating: M&Ms

deviantID

librarian-of-hell
Lilla Bertalan
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Hungary
Not exactly a hobbyist, but therapeutic writing wasn't an option. Self-doubting white girl with a tendency to obsess over stuff, which I take out on... formerly paper, nowadays my DA page.
As long as you don't attempt to "cheer me up" or get all religious on me, we'll get along well. Tell me what's your poison and I... won't exactly tell who you are, but pour you a round and tell a good story, 'kay?


Current Residence: Győrzámoly
deviantWEAR sizing preference: L
Favourite music: see last.fm/user/rodiel :P
Favourite style of art: pretty much anything BUT anime
Operating System: Ubuntu
Skin of choice: white, nicely scarred
Favourite cartoon character: Hawkgirl, Martian Manhunter, Wolverine, Simon's Cat
Personal Quote: "Meow."
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:iconskaramine:
Skaramine Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much for the favoriting of my penguin guy
Reply
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Epic fowl. :)
Reply
:icontimesfire90:
TimesFire90 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fave!
Reply
:iconkurthutch74:
kurthutch74 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Nice profile picture. It's nice seeing the symbol of Dixie and nobody trying to censor it.
Reply
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Ahh, they have been *trying* all right... ;)
And I'm not even from there but I like the attitude/lifestyle and...actually, they had a point regarding #10.

Check out my "fanfic" about the war in my gallery, it's in a separate folder called Mortal Sins. :)
Reply
:iconkurthutch74:
kurthutch74 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I will!
Reply
:iconrefugnic:
Refugnic Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the favorite on Artificial incubation. Much appreciated. Do you maybe have a few thoughts to share about it? :)
Reply
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I guess I would if I wasn't tired right now... It struck me in the feels because I'm not human either and I also have a strong desire for independence. :)
Reply
:iconrefugnic:
Refugnic Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I see. Still, I'm glad you liked it.
Reply
:iconlibrarian-of-hell:
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Me too :)
Reply
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