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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Lilla Bertalan25/Other/Hungary Group :iconkreative-minds: Kreative-Minds
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It seems beauty has drowned in advertising
and her last outposts are medicated away.
Hell! Turn up the volume and ignore the haters -
somewhere in the dark there waits your way.
Keep your spirit strong, the artist said
as the faceless forces took him away.

Behind closed doors and within skulls concealed
there is still beauty if you dare to look.
There'll come a time to unleash its power -
until then, here, keep it in this little book.
Underground Resistance
Inspired by the italicized Richard Ramirez quote.
The birds are singing and the sky is clear
but I'm down just like every year -
I'm going out for a picnic though:
the illusion of seeing you.
Yeah, I can almost see you there.
I'd kiss your bones just to show I care.
Yes, I'm proud just like every year;
the birds are singing and the sky is clear...
Memorial Day
Obligatory poem, uploaded a day late. You know what I mean.
Kitty by librarian-of-hell
Attempt at an artistic/tumblristic shot :) I know. Focus is meh. Dumb phone. Still proud of this kitty. :meow:

This one word blazed like a flame in Emily's mind. She was sitting in class, chewing on the end of a pen, and wanting to run away. Or scream. Or do something, instead of listening to a regurgitated, dumbed-down version of things she ad already read volumes about. The teacher was a short, dry woman with her graying hair in a tight bun and her spidery fingers wagging like those of the lawyers on TV. Her droning voice barely reached Emily's brain, whose ears were more tuned to other things. A pair of blackbirds were courting outside the window. Her classmates were whispering behind her, making derisive comments about her appearance. Noises, movement, smells, details flooded her mind. There was nothing in particular to focus on, just the slow passage of time.

So she contemplated that. How many classes will she be required to sit through, how many frustrating hours will await her until her life inevitably ends? In her body, cells were doing their thing: growing, dividing, secreting substances...but with every passing moment, they were getting closer and closer to their functions grinding to a halt. Emily didn't find the idea scary or unsettling. What she found somewhat unfair is that she could have spend the time genetics and luck allowed her better than trying to keep herself still. Stillness was, to her, something of death and sleep, and at the moment, she was feeling too alive for her own good. She tried to entertain herself by imagining a tiger running through the jungle in the pursuit of prey. Unaware to her own movements, she began to tap her feet under the desk. Then stomp them. Harder.
"Emily Diana Starkweather, what on earth are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" She blurted, then realized what she said. Her cheeks turned deep red in embarrassment as the rest of the class began to laugh and the teacher began her usual lecture of admonishment. This was by no means the first time for the pale, heavy-boned girl to be scolded like this. But this was the first time she felt something move inside her. She looked the teacher in the eyes with what she meant to look like confidence - but the old woman reacted like she had just seen a ghost. She froze and started to back away slowly towards the classroom door. Deadly silence fell on the scene.

"What the hell is going on?", Emily tried to say, but only a rough growl emerged from her throat. She suddenly felt stronger, larger than usual, until she something forced her to fall forward to land on her palms...which weren't palms anymore. They were clawed, padded paws, covered by yellowish fur, just like her entire body. She felt a tail sprout from her bottom. A part of her thought of it as funny - being a teenager, she found almost anything having to do with body parts below her belt funny -, but it was also painful, horrifying, and... exhilarating. She was becoming a tiger, in the most real and physical sense of the word. Smiling in her mind, but snarling on the outside, she lunged at the two popular girls who always made fun of her. Flesh was torn, blood was splattering, claws and teeth were driven into their guts. The last thing they heard was their own gasping, rattling last breath and the screams of terror as the rest of the class were also slaughtered.

Tired after the carnage and having drank its fill of the taste of freedom, the big cat licked its paws and lay down to take a nap amidst the torn remains. The staff later found the sole survivor, Emily Starkweather, Grade 10, sitting naked in a pool of blood. Whatever happened to her afterwards is unknown...but tales and "sightings" of huge feline species still persist to this day around the Great Lakes.
Burning Bright
Were you ever *this* bored in class? ;)
The Rain

The rain is gray like my ghost friend
who, long after his own end,
hangs around - his fingers cold,
as he tells me stories old
and looks through the dirty rain
as his world's traces fade and wane.
The sky cries innocent tears
born among the silent fears
buried under piles of years -
and the deluded think time heals.

The Fool's Insults

So you tell me, "go to Hell".
I'm at home there, can't you tell?
The Devil always keeps my seat
free, and I have friends to greet
in a corner warm and dark
where our minds twinkle and spark.
Now if you said "stay on Earth",
much sharper would sting the word.
My native tongue jars the ears
of this folk, and foolish fears
sprout wherever I tread.
In Hell I was born and bred.

The Guardian

A piebald cat sleeps content
on a headstone at day's end;
blood-red light drips from the sky,
and crickets lull the dozing land.
But as the glow shimmers away,
from her sleep stirs the up the stray,
and purrs to the dweller below,
telling tales of lives that flow
upon the bright surface still.
"And when she comes?" "One day, she will."
evening rhymes
just something sweet :)
So, after long years (at least 7) of arduous service, my PC suddenly died on Monday. Luckily, I just received the cash for the anger management text, so I was able to get a new one real quick. Well, a used one, but it definitely feels like new! Additional good news: the secondary harddrive (with my music and movies) was rescued, but I'll need a tool to connect it to the new one (whenever I can afford such things).

I can't get enough of this little cutie. (Lenovo ThinkCentre, by the way.) So quick, quiet, and efficient compared to what I'm used to. And can play movies without lagging or freezing.

  • Mood: Delighted
  • Reading: Bukowski: South of No North
  • Eating: scrambled eggs with mushrooms
  • Drinking: pear juice


Lilla Bertalan
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Not exactly a hobbyist, but therapeutic writing wasn't an option. Self-doubting white girl with a tendency to obsess over stuff, which I take out on... formerly paper, nowadays my DA page.
As long as you don't attempt to "cheer me up" or get all religious on me, we'll get along well. Tell me what's your poison and I... won't exactly tell who you are, but pour you a round and tell a good story, 'kay?

Current Residence: Győrzámoly
deviantWEAR sizing preference: L
Favourite music: see :P
Favourite style of art: pretty much anything BUT anime
Operating System: Ubuntu
Skin of choice: white, nicely scarred
Favourite cartoon character: Hawkgirl, Martian Manhunter, Wolverine, Simon's Cat
Personal Quote: "Meow."

Journal History

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Chaosfive-55 Featured By Owner 4 hours ago  Hobbyist General Artist
:aww: Greetings!  Thanks for the fave!!
PuddingAndPasta Featured By Owner May 6, 2015  New member
Out of curiosity, why the Stars and Bars, especially for a Hungarian?
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner May 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Man, I get this question a lot :)

1) The US Civil War being one of my favorite historical periods/events, not in the least because of the intriguing "what if" stuff (in general, but also in detail, like the case of Special Order 191 or the "friendly fire" things, most notably the one at Chancellorsville), the complicated ideological background (and the transformations it underwent since then), and the technological transition (for a brief while, even coexistence of cold steel and modern firepower).

2) Basically... why not? Screw political correctness. People need to be less sensitive (me included, I'm learning it). Besides, shock and "offense" can create opportunities to get educational and educated. There is so much more to this flag in particular than race issues, for instance.

3) In most cases, I relate much better to the underdog, the "losers" of a given situation, especially if we're talking about a thwarted attempt at becoming independent, as in this case (some even would say "Revolution 2.0"). This is mostly due to the way I grew up, with my mom being overbearing and largely unaccepting of the fact that I'm not her "little girl" anymore. I also like the "take no shit" attitude of Southerners better (well, minus their adherence to religion, but that's even changing now anyway). Rebellion and resilience are kinda "my thing".

4) Most of my friends happen to be Americans, so I learned about things through them. I kinda absorbed the culture (and developed one hell fo a case of envy for some aspects of the legal environment - most notably the 2nd Amendment). This might also have to do with having done an English major at college.

I hope this answer satisfies you :)
Chaosfive-55 Featured By Owner 4 hours ago  Hobbyist General Artist
I knew you were a Civil War fan when you faved my photo! ;)
PuddingAndPasta Featured By Owner May 6, 2015  New member
It does!

I live in the South, and the Confederate battle flag (which is actually not the Stars and Bars, funnily enough. I've always hears it called that) represents the slavish twisted Protestantism that so ruined the New World. It's not really so much about race for me, more of a desperate attempt to peddle twisted Anglican theology.

But I can also see its value in starting conversation. Too many people have a knee-jerk reaction to it, and it's good to be more informed and careful.
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner May 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer many, it does represent that. To others, it means simply the honor of their ancestors. (Yes, I have reenactor friends. :D ) And again, there's also a "twisted" religious bent on the other side as well, looking at those who seek to justify it as the "moral right" by pointing to abolitionism especially. "Democracy, whether you like it or not!" That holier-than-thou attitude wrought much havoc in the last century and it still does in the Arab world. (Not to mention the hypocritical aspect. I wrote about that in a rather emotional poem here: librarian-of-hell.deviantart.c… - in the 10th/last part, the reason for which will be obvious if you do guess the title. :))

Can we switch places for a while? I'd love to actually live the experience (even if I don't yet have a flux capacitor... ;) ).
(1 Reply)
AlphaCrest-WolfPack Featured By Owner May 1, 2015
ur werd
librarian-of-hell Featured By Owner May 1, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I know.
AlphaCrest-WolfPack Featured By Owner May 1, 2015
Spiritghost90 Featured By Owner Edited May 1, 2015  Professional Artist
-v- agree
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